geebox - reviewing every my chemical romance music video

3/22/2019

Welcome to the Geebox! I'm your host- Gee (I run Guillozine in case you didn't know). Much like a soapbox, the Geebox is what I'll use to share my opinions on things. In this case it's every My Chemical Romance music video.
Today (they day I'm writing this) is March 22nd, and for every current or former emo kid, that day has some significance- the day MCR broke up. I wasn't aware of them at the time as I only began my emo phase in late 2013 (I think? Does this mean I'm getting old?). Since Umbrella Academy was released, I find myself listening to MCR's discography a little too much. So what's a better way to fuel my emo-renaissance than doing this?

Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us

Ah, the Bullets era. Just a bunch of grimy kids playing punk the most underrated MCR album in my opinion.
It could be the having-to-explain-the-entire-MCR-history to my 11 year old sister while watching, but the whole story just kinda made me "???", by the end I knew what was going on (Yay! Basic comprehension skills).
I didn't love the video, but the song? SLAPS.

Vampires Will Never Hurt You

I understand it was like 2003 and they probably had little to no budget, but this video just doesn't do it for me. The concept is there but the execution just wasn't. The lighting is a little weird, and the iMovie effects and Frank Iero's dreadlocks just make it a little tough to enjoy. The rest of the band looks okay, the dark eyes are a little baby-Black-Parade-ish, and once again Frank's dreadlocks are absolutely terrible. I absolutely hated when the lyrics would show up in between verses in Papyrus font I believe? But oh, it's so bad it's good.
While watching this my 11 year old sister asked "Is this why you became emo?" Yes, yes I think so. It's a nostalgic little garbage fire that I watched at least a thousand times as an emo teen.
Video? Eh, it's okay. Song? SLAPS. I'm going to start a campaign to make sure everyone appreciates the Bullets album as much as I do.

Helena

What year is it again? This video sends me back to 2005 (not literally though, I was 4 in 2005 and definitely not an MCR fan). Is this the perfect music video? It grabs my attention so much the only notes I wrote were "Perfect" "Stunning" "So so emo" and "Oh she's perfect".
I've easily seen this video at least 100 times. Regardless of that number, I ALWAYS get chills during the bridge as 'Helena' dances down the aisle. Poetic cinema- wait, is this cinema? Poetic music-video doesn't sound as good.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

The. Nostalgia. Holy hell.
There was, scratch that, there IS a time in my life when I can recite the intro like it's the back of my hand. Imagine encapsulating peak-teen-emo-angst into one video. Everything about it is perfect. It's perfect. It slaps. Thank you 2005. The only reason it doesn't have 5 stars is because towards the beginning there's a clip where someone throws a sandwich at Frank, who's sitting at the bottom of these stairs, and then Gerard shakes his head, but he's like at the top of the stairs? Why are they sitting so far apart if they're friends, who throws an entire sandwich and has it stay intact even after impact? Sorry guys, but friendship and sandwich logistics stole a star.

The Ghost Of You

There was a 2 year period in my life where I used to scream through the second half of this video because I was upset that Mikey Way fake died. No really, I screamed, and occasionally cried. 2014 Gee, it's just a music video- please calm down.
Is this propaganda? I don't know. Anyway, MCR looks like nice boys my mom would like in this video and this video only.
The scene where they have the water rushing over the dancefloor and then cutting to the war zone is LITERALLY one of the best transitions I've ever seen- very emo Edgar Wright. Also, can we give Gerard Way some sort of award for his acting in this? I know it's just a music video but his reaction to Mikey's fake dying is actually like, really good.

Welcome To The Black Parade

Unpopular opinion: I don't have the typical emo-kid reaction to this song, or video. The G-note on a piano doesn't send me into hysterics like it should (or shouldn't? Do I want to be a stereotypical emo kid?).
I'm not a huge fan of the video, so these 3 stars are solely for production because it looks like a HUGE amount of work went into this video.
If "I'm Not Okay" is peak teen-emo-angst, this is that but grown up. The Black Parade is certainly more mature concept-wise compared to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge.
Finally, I'm not a huge fan of Gerard's white hair. I get the whole dead-skeleton-solider aesthetic the band is trying to embody, but it just doesn't work for me. Is that a music video critique or a styling critique? Who cares this is my blog.

I Don't Love You

Song? Good, very emo. Video? It's a little too Myspace-y for me (which is funny considering I've never been on Myspace). I don't know if I'm just missing the theatrics that the usual MCR video has, or if it's just not a good video.
Let me address the elephant in the room- is that blackface? I won't get into that but like, is it? Aside from that there's a couple other choices I wasn't jazzed by:
~ Why are the band members falling? It's never addressed, they're just falling down and we're like "Ok, I guess"
~ Is this poetic or the 2006 monochromatic version of Halsey's "You were red and you liked me cause I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky. Then you decided purple just wasn't for you" line from "Colors"?
~ Did anyone wash their hair before filming? What is it with emo kids and greasy hair. Please wash your hair, emo kids.
I'll compliment the video though, the slo-mo shots of the band playing were very good.

Teenagers

Oh hello, incredibly iconic music video. Everyone looks great, the video is fun and the live-ish part at the beginning is *chef's kiss*. My only problem- why did MCR write a song about hating teenagers when their main demographic is teenagers? That being said, 2014-emo me probably would have loved if Gerard Way told me he hated me.

Famous Last Words

Okay, the song is like inspirational and moving and all that jazz, but the video just doesn't do it for me. It's a little, how do you say, "basic". It's just MCR jamming out in a fiery, dusty hellscape. It's emo, I guess?
The three stars are only for the part before the bridge when Gerard drops the mic and it just fits with the song perfectly, and maybe for all the passion he puts into emote-ing while singing in music videos.

Blood

The dog gives this an automatic un-refundable 5 star rating. I'm here for the dog only. Why is Bob taping Mikey's shirt? I wish we could ask the dog.

Desolation Row

Ah, the Watchmen soundtrack. Only watched the movie for this song.
During my emo years, I prayed to the church of Desolation Row Music Video Mikey Way, and looking back, I don't know why I did really. Could it be that my Hot-Topic-wearing-self really dug this gruely, 70's punk-ish aesthetic?
A couple notes on the actual video. Number one - WOW. It's good. When the guy jumps off the balcony I got chills, another one of those "matches up with the song perfectly" moments. Another thing that has stuck with me past my emo-phase was the "Cinderella sweepin' up on..." hand-thing that Gerard does, it's *chef's kiss*
Finally, I too would fight the cops off with a guitar. On another note, this is the last time we see the infamous Bob Bryar in a music video. What the hell happened to him? Did they actually arrest him in this video? Is he dead? It's a question we will probably never know the answer to.

Na Na Na

The whole Killjoy's thing- *chef's kiss*.
What a fun, fun music video. Danger Days is truly one of the greatest concept albums of all time. It's the best teaser for a movie that was never even slated to happen. It's fun to watch, that's really all I have to say. Why isn't 2019 actually this fun?
The Danger Days era gave us so much room for content, you had the Fabulous Killjoys as characters, the comics, and of course the 2 Killyjoys music videos. I get that this was before their untimely break up as a band, but I want more! Everything's there, can some emo kids sit down and write a screenplay?

SING

As a thrilling conclusion to the two-part Killjoy's saga, everyone dies!
I love this music video but I can't give it 5 stars because everyone dies and it makes me a little upset. I know they're not actually dead but, y'know.
It's 2019 and I still really, really want a Killjoy jacket, so really I guess it's 2014 again.
Back to the video- it's so good. The whole visual aspect of it is great on it's own, it's not driven by the song, and works as like an emo-silent-film on it's own. The director's cut is even better with all the sound effects in the background. I'm really gonna start campaigning for a Killjoys reboot.

Planetary (GO!)

I'll be honest- I completely forgot about this video. It's one of the best songs off of Danger Days, but the video just doesn't fit the Killjoys aesthetic that I long for. Instead it's just a video of MCR playing on stage with some funky electric punkadelic graphics popping up. The song slaps though so I'll give it 3 stars. I also remember a time where I screenshotted every frame Mikey Way was in- don't fall in love with emo bass players from broken-up bands.

The Kids From Yesterday

Eh. Is it a music video or a montage? It's a great unofficial final sign off for MCR as a band, and I'm sure I probably used to cry watching it. But it's just sorta "eh". The clips from Life On The Murder Scene made me feel nostalgic but that's probably cause I used to watch that AT LEAST once a week. I made my dad watch it and he still talks about Gerard Way puking in a parking lot.

Well that took longer than expected. I decided not to include Fake Your Death as it's just a look-back on the other music videos, similar to The Kids From Yesterday.
Re-watching these videos was a trip down emo-kid memory lane. Maybe I should do Fall Out Boy next?

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